She reigns his heart....

He met her long long ago. He still remembers that day, how can he forget, at one point of time that moment was supposed to cause him pain, happiness; all at the same time. He met her, he wasn't mesmerized but she was something new to him.He wasn't interested in her, he thought he was never gonna be. He was confused about her, regarding whether to be friends with her or not.She was something like from other world -
 "Jaane kahaan se aayi hai woh".He was in constant touch with her but still the spark was not ignited, i mean the spark of friendship. She was still out of his reach.
        Days passed, there was a slight improvement in him, everybody was elated.But the improvement was because of their frequency of meetings.He liked her a little bit, just a bit.He was in that stage of life where nothing is serious, so he couldn't understand her. She was something who is peaceful, calm like the sea-waves and he was like the violent waves on a full moon day. He was getting less and less violent, he was maturing. Finally, the moment came... they became good friends. But fate had something else in store for him.
        On a fine sunny day, everything was turning upside down for him. He didn't care about that but it was alarming.Something happened. That incident blew his confidence off in the air and he lost her too.He wasn't kind of sad but he felt something for her. As they say- "Good luck, bad luck, Who knows?". He met her again a few months later, it was as if nothing happened in all those days. They were back on the track, more refreshed and more nearer. He was glad he met her and there.. was the spark ignited again, much more stronger and more brighter. He spent evenings with her, was passionate about her for a certain level and he started liking her. He thought he was fortunate about getting her. He was happy and satisfied but the real cord was still left. Time went on and on, one day he had to leave her. She couldn't be his constant companion. She left, he left.
       One day , after a year or so, he met her.  These days he was missing her a lot, but he was helpless. He saw her, his hands couldn't reach her because she is far far away from him. He tried and tried and tried, he stood there at the shore helpless, he could only touch her but couldn't jump in, or rather drown himself in her.The pangs of separation is hitting him hard, he couldn't live even a moment without her, she's like a life-saving drug to him but in limited amounts. She gave him a chance but he was not mature enough to understand the inner meaning of her request and now he is suffering. He may do whatever but he could only touch her, he couldn't feel her, love her as he always in her absence.
She stood there like a mirage but more alive and he is thirsty one looking for water in the desert. She was the music in his lyrics of life.Yes, she is the music of his heart.
     
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She merged and stood in my heart
she took my life bit by bit
one single word of her would glitter like gold
but what to do, she disappeared into sand
She merged into my heart
but what to do, she disappeared into sand..

To my Beloved....

This can be nth letter to you on the nth day after we met for the first time, but i am still clueless about what
i am supposed to write...i am thinking now...
i may not be a champion in romanticism, but i can win your heart...

Dilkash thi woh shaam pehle pehal
Jab ke tumse mili thi nazar....
 i still remember the day, u too do... i know very very well... 
 i like you, love you  as my good old friend and more than that... and i also know that how much you like me, do i? :) yes, i do... i say this most of the times.. its boring now... isn't it?
Our relationship is very strange, the world which we live used to intersect before, but it seldom does so now..
Whenever we meet, its like we are leaving our world behind for a while but that "while" remains for a while... our own life beckons us! 
and its a sad thing for a "while"... we have to move on... i saw you, i learnt from you...
 Well you know, its a bliss seeing you..But you know what we might not see each other frequently, but there is something which makes both of us feel for each other and wait for the time to come, even if its imperfect, incomplete, inadequate and what and all "ins".
I always wished to spend time with you as we used to, you used to mention it many times than me, now i feel the same thing... i wish if we could be with each other... for a "while"..
We are passing through a stage where nothing is in our hands.. time is slipping  and we are helpless seeing it slip out.
Time and again, i am afraid of losing you as i lost others... i know i cannot hold everybody in my hands but i am desperate to hold atleast a few.
I want to tell you many many things, but words are not coming out... damn the words. 
Spending time with you is like learning a new lesson everytime... u have taught me many things unknowingly but i don't follow it as i should be. 
I always remember this so-called incident...
They say- If you let your beloved free, not holding his/her hands forcefully, i am sure your beloved will return to you...
i know you never left me as such, but it was like that at times... i mean i felt can i save this relationship? am i losing somebody out of my laziness or my carelessness??? 
i felt you are going, and seeing you like that i cried ... cried and cried... and then suddenly, you would emerge from the darkness of my heart.. and lo! you are back... 
When you said i came in your dreams, i felt what is happening around me??????... i was surprised, speechless and other "!" words... Should i call it destiny, or fate or what which is working "back-end" holding us together against strange odds...
You have changed, changed a lot... obviously on a positive note, you have matured, according to me..; because i am not,i might have changed but i am still careless and still speak things which i shouldn't ...  
You are still my fresh air...
 a breeze in the hot sun.... 
you are as pure as snow white...
you make me forget things...
who knows that's the reason why i love you 
so much... 
This one is for you-


Udti hui titli ki rangeen parchhaai reh jaati hai phoolon mein
Waise hi tum ek tasveer ke jaise chhaye ho inn aankhon mein
... (obviously these are not my lines, but the feelings are)
sach me, tu meri aankhon me hi chaayi hai... but kya karen jo kehna chahti hu, bhool jati hu... :)


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Well friends i am back, after a week of "weak"ness, a week of "lazi"ness, a week of  "hectic"ness.... This one is a mystery letter to my mysterious beloved... I am not gonna say whether the "beloved" is he or she... so keep guessing... Letters are usually secretive, but for a change i am writing it in public and the receiver's name is being kept secret... i do hope... my beloved likes it.

The pursuit of "happiness"!!

The movie taught me many things. Really, in life happiness is hard to find. Whatever you do, its not guaranteed that you will be happy. Even if you have all the riches of the world, if you are not happy, then what is use of that money? i have heard people saying so- "when we didn't have money, we were happier but now the almighty has given us enough money but he has snatched away the necessary happiness"... really, happiness is something which comes in our fundamental rights but they are taken away anytime... some are even deprived of that right.
                      Strange is the fate- When we were young, we were the king or queen of our home, but at that time what we thought was- "when are we going to grow up??" but now when we are grown up or growing up- we feel that -"ohh, i wish i were a 4 yr. old baby again!!" According to me happiness is, you are sitting under the shade of a coconut tree with a bunch of friends and in the background, soft music is being played.
                The degree, state of happiness varies from time to time..there is no well defined criteria for being happy... i mean , one may follow his near or dear ones commands so that they do not badger him... according to him, its happiness... but the real fact is - he is killing himself... and there are people , for whom happiness is following his own instincts ... even if he's wrong...
                happiness cannot be found anywhere, it cannot be bartered, it cannot be bought with money... happiness comes from within... its our own cycle of thoughts which bring happiness or take it away from us. A second we may be happy, but the very next second we may get miserable, but that moment lives on forever.It is difficult to be always happy but we can give it a try. you know what, we always feel we were happy in our past... and in our past we feel we will be happy in our future... we never live the moment .. that's the place where we are committing mistake. You may be enjoying a party, but at that moment something else moves in our mind and we turn into "something" else... but after that we cherish those moments.... isn't it?? That's the human tendency, we never live our present moments...
We run after happiness our whole lives, but happiness remains in our heart, and in the end we just ... we just ... go on running lives after lives...

Find happiness in the beauty of the morning sunrise...

in the evening sunset...

in the newly blossomed flower...

in the dew drops...

in the face of the toothless grin of your grandfather...

in the fresh face of a tiny tot...

and finally you will surely find happiness in your heart too....