About them...

They literally bumped into each other. At that time, who might have thought that their bumping will result in something unusual? They had their own philosophy, their own level of thinking. They belonged to a different sphere of the society. Neither of them thought of their own differences, they left it for the destiny to take a decision. Well, we can say, that was the only reason that they are still stuck up with each other.

They bumped, they met, they talked, they laughed, they shared, they fought, they mocked, they … well they didn’t cry together (at least). They did everything together, becoming thick friends, promising to be with each other through the thick and the thin. If one laughs, the other laughs too. If one walks, the other one walks too, like they were shadows following each other, never leaving the other one all alone.  

Their lives were filled with simple joys, simple things which made their day, a day worth a lifetime. They had no expectations, they were happy enough to be together. They never wanted anything else in their lives. They were happy. Their petty fights were worth a watch, their letters were worth a read, their expressions were worth an Oscar and their friendship was worth a mention.

They moved on with their life, but still touching each other’s lives.  The marks which they left in their past was not to be easily removed. They had their own priorities, but they still felt for each other. If the one was sad, the other would try to be helpful. If the one was all alone, the other would listen to the babbles. If the one was hinting towards loneliness, the other would … well... The other wasn’t able to trace it (this time). Whenever they met, each had something to share, something to tell, something to laugh at. They had something which attracted them towards each other, even when separated.

The beauty of their relationship is, they had none (not even a %) of the expectation from each other. If the one was flying away, the other would let it go and was sure of seeing a return flight. If the one was silly and full of non-sense, the other would still tolerate it. Their friendship is still the same, as was in their first meet, not a penny more, not a penny less. 

A world i dream of...

I see a world…

Where saying yes and saying no is as simple as it sounds…

Where finding joy is as easy as looking for air…

Where helping fellow beings is as involuntary as thumping of the heart…

Where speaking truth is as acceptable as saying words from the book of God…

I see a world …

Where the thoughts progress towards the infinite power…

Where our reasons are not lost in the dreary desert of dead habits…

Where children are not meant to be just assets…

Where every living being is considered living…

I see a world…

Where money is just money…

Where power is just a medium to forgive…

Where boundary is just meant to be a line…

Where anger is just a way of showing your love…

I see a world …

Where the white flowers of peace bloom all over…

Where the moon rises in the place where the child reaches out its hands…

Where we all wake up to children’s laughter…

Where the white bird sings the song of peace and tranquility…

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I felt writing when i was listening to the song vellai pookkal (White Flowers)..

One of my favourite Rehman tamil songs from the Mani Ratman movie – “Kannathil Muttamittal” (Kiss on the cheek) – a wonderful movie on adoption against the backdrop of insurgence in Sri Lanka. 

I wish I could write more..

I am...

I am fed up of being a loner…

Fed up of searching for a face to bury my head…

Fed up of looking up for somebody who will take me through the thorny path

Fed up of finding a shoulder upon which I can rest my head…

I am fed up of being silent…

Fed up of people who know but ignore me...

Fed up of things that make me feel inferior…

Fed up of people who always find a way to prove me wrong…

I am fed up of making a show of happiness….

Fed up of those who want me to wear a plastic smile…

Fed up of situations which makes me feel sad but forces me to look cheerful…

Fed up of people who want me to be happy at their own cost…

I am fed up of being sorrowful…

Fed up of those who want me to be sad always…

Fed up of those who show themselves to be happy just to make me sad…

Fed up of my own self which looks sadder than the world thinks so…

I am fed up of wearing a mask….

Fed up of the people who prefer the mask rather than the real self…

Fed up of those who made me put on many a mask…

Fed up of those who wear a mask not letting the real self show its face…

I am fed up of running behind grades…

Fed up of people who think grades are everything in life…

Fed up of people who think giving grades is like giving alms to a beggar…

Fed up of those who measure me through grades…

I am fed up of running behind possessions….

Fed up of those possessions…

Fed up of those who made me run behind these possessions…

Fed up of those who stop me from attaining these possessions…

I am fed of being left behind…

Fed up of those who use me as a coin in their own game of life…

Fed up of those who leave me as soon as their work is accomplished…

Fed up of those who remind me time and again, I am just being used…

I am fed up of running behind you…

Fed up of approaching you again and again…

Fed up of me being miserable because of you…

Fed up of the space which separates me from you…

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A note is required here...

Please do not mistaken it. It is the real me in a particular state of mind. I cannot say anything particular to anybody... this is in general... No qualms against anybody.
This post might not show my good self. I gave a 1000 thoughts about writing this, i had to or else i couldn't find peace.  I don't know whether it is right or wrong, but i did what i felt. And, now i feel free... 

They met

An eye says it all. I really don’t know who said it, but yes eyes says it all and the eyes seeing those eyes also say many things. Confusing isn’t it? Well, today is not any eye-sight day or anything related to eye (as there are so many eyes here, you might presume it). Pair of eyes made my eyes illuminates and thus these eyes are directing the fingers to type the above and below words.

Whatever we may try to hide or try to show, the eyes show only that which is beneath those eyes, be it the pain, the joy or the anger or jealousy. You can never hide unless you wear something which will hide the true color of your eyes.

His eyes fell upon those eyes. They were nothing which he had experienced before and I know he will never even see those eyes and the things which the eyes were showing him. The eyes cast a stranger’s look upon each other and at the same time had friendly warmth in it. Eyes met eyes. The air between them was tense. They were standing a few feet apart.  Everything came forth, the dreams which they shared together, the moments which they spent seeing each other amidst the hustle and bustle of their lives and those painful moments which were spent without their eyes catching up for the day. Those eyes were somebody’s life giving light. Those eyes were the sun and the moon. The eyes were the only thing visible for them. But now, they were just eyes, nothing more. The eyes met and just passed by as if nothing remained between those pairs. The eyes became one among the crowd.

 Those eyes were something like nothing before. It had the innocence of a child, at the same time the shade of the adolescence. It had a feel of arrogance, but from a corner, it was humble too. One would love to get lost in those eyes. The eyes were deep enough to drown anybody who peeped in it and the eyes hid so many stories beneath it that even the strongest of the stronghearts will give away.

But the beauty was that the eyes knew the truth, even if the human intelligence denied it; but..   but ..  but… for a split second those springs were back and they were embracing each other.


Our eyes does certain things which we may not permit in our consciousness. 


The eyes caught my attention the whole day, different emotions, different states and different views. Eyes represent what we think, what we expect from the world, what we need the most from the world and most of all, our eyes helps us to see the world.


Photo courtesy- Keekee, Veda, Preetham, Kow, Nims, Shekhar Sahu Photography, Deepesh and me. 
Well, thank you all for donating your eyes.

Looking back, to and fro.

Since I am going to cross a major landmark of my life soon, here is what I thought I should right first. Looking back, at what I did and what I did to make my past look like a Poor Joke Book. My past is weak, my future is bleak and my present is sick of its owner (that’s me, of course).

Jokes apart, looking back teaches you so many lessons, makes you to “peep into your own girebaan”. I have peeped so many times, gaped, squealed wide eyed and mouthed both but of no avail. I am the same, the “nerdy”, the “ever confused” (My English teaching lecturer used to say this, always), the “under-confident” (my neighbor says things which matches with this word) and top-of-all the “non-cooperative”. I wake up seldom, and think, why God doesn’t stop me from doing “things” which I do? I get an answer, the same - “beta, you do whatever you wish to, when you will come back in the sunsets of your life; you will reap what you sowed. So, do not sow weeds, it is in your own hands”. After listening this, what I do is start confessing to my own self; promise myself that this won’t be repeated again, I will be a Good Samaritan etc and what not. When I again sow “weeds”, I forget about my promises and go on sowing weeds and enjoy seeing them grow into something, which later (just a few minutes) I regret the most.

Reading the above lines might get you into a conclusion that the writer is a hopeless creature, do not come to such a conclusion, wait I am writing more.

Well, a person has his own +es and –es. I am no different.  I contradict myself, in many ways. At times I might be in support of a thought, and at times I (the same one with sane mind) might be opposing it. In my sane state of mind, I do not know what I do in my insanely state. That happens with all, sometimes good things happen when we are in such a insane state ; for ex. friendship- nobody is in right state of mind when one befriend his  biggest enemy of his life ;D  

Is it a good thing?

Ans. Can’t say...

Talking about insanity, let’s move on to the next state of mind called sub-consciousness (I wrote cautiously so that the spelling checker shouldn’t disgrace me). In this stage of life, I am, most of the times sub-conscious. The biggest advantage is- you do not have to concentrate on the blah blah of your neighbor, do not have to listen to things which you never want and enjoy the ecstatic world of yours in your own way. Sub consciousness is a treat for me, an escapade from the ruthless real world. Being sub conscious has its own positive “+”s..

It’s my pleasure to describe about the next state of my mind-   ; D... the one and only – ruthlessness. You know, that’s a secret. I am not ruthless as such, it happens just once in 1000… (don’t know how many zeroes) moments . And it is my privilege to introduce to you all to the source of this “state”, it is none other than (any guesses? .. No?? You are so :/ )

the education which I am pursuing. This is the worst trait (apart from others) which it has bestowed on me. I do not feel ashamed of it, but it is something which is important enough to be given a thought.

Well, I can’t write about my all states of my mind here, so I am writing my last paragraph.

Being good doesn’t mean that the world will take you over its head and dance, it will never. I heard, being too straight willed be the cause of your getting cut out first from the world. I am a jalebi, you know (good for me). I am good in my own way. My states of mind might change, but I am the same at heart. The same “Good Samaritan”.  Looking back has nothing to do with this, but the heading “looking back” has to do something with this. Looking back is not about regretting the moments; it is about analyzing yourself, after seeing through your own personal mirror and enjoying it. I might be a headache, but the thought that- I am so important for a person, that he/she gets a headache just for my cause, it brings joy in me and thats why i look back.. and what i see is somebody like me has already done wonders...

Photo courtesy- Veda.. thank you! something got added in my post as  i pasted your creation..