2011 - looking back!

Well, well... 2011 gonna end very soon!! Another year going and coming.. A complete year of my life.. What a phase it was... mostly devoted to self discovery... and succeeded to a certain level. The year started with a new session and ending with the fear of the next new session.. :D .. not literally "fear" ..
                    2011 was very good, beyond my expectation.. It went well.. 8 out of 10? yeah... that's enough.. it wasn't awesome but it was "awesome" .. :) new friends, new places, old people with new faces etcetera.. et cetera.. ahem ahem... The year was academically good, well this is something that seldom happens.I took great risks and waiting for certain risk's outcome...
I missed great movies, missed great books... missed things other than academics and spent most of the year's holidays lazying around, doing "nothing" , or even if doing , doing it with least efficiency...
Socially i was not very involved with people. I lost contacts with many, got new(ooold) contacts , thanks to my certain skills. I was alone most of the time, or just with a very few of my friends.
Read lots of books.. increased my non-sleeping hours, watched a good amount of movies and chilling alone.
Well, seeing it or globally, it was not so good... i mean great people died.. unhappy things happened .. but the highlight was "justice", which was almost done in certain cases.

Happening tags of the year-
1. World cup
2. Population
3. Corruption
4. Apple
5. Celebs in jail
6. CWG
7. Path-breaking movies
8. End of HP era
9. AB( Celeb)
10. IAC

2012 gonna start soon... my resolutions are- ( yearly ritual)..
1. Not to tell lies
2. Study harder
3. Less time in FB
4. More concentration in photography.
5. Behave properly
6. Attendance 100%
7. Get in shape :/
8. Last but not the least... never again to make resolutions.. and even if made don't follow those which are not in your favour. 

A Face...

A face which can never be forgotten, a face which is not common, A face which changes your line of thought and the face which makes you happy and make you live your life .
Well, i am not good in remembering faces like a few of my friends who are too good in it, but this face remains still.
I saw this face many many years ago, say the previous ke previous decade, so this face was not used to play-station or CN or other things introduced by this present century. The face was neither handsome nor beautiful but it was the cute.
The person who held that face was not aware of the world that lay ahead but was the master of its own world. The face looked innocent but was not so. The face looked naughty for its age but was not so. It was mischievous and all its mischief were forgiven because no one believed that the face can create such things too. The face owned the people , people obeyed did what it wanted to. A single drop on the face and lo! it was enough to bring the world down.
It was young but its heart was a bit way ahead. Now when i remember the face, my line of thoughts change.
It was bad as well as good but its goodness was so pure that its bad-ness can be ignored because the face was too ignorant of things which it did.
Thinking about the face, i remember Ruskin Bond's lines. Well, i couldnt find those lines but its explanation is as follows-

The boy’s attention was caught by the face of a ‘bright boy’.
 This boy waved out to him from the window of a passing train.
 The poet took a great liking to him and for many years, looked for him wherever he went.
Throughout his life, the poet experiences such loneliness that he keeps returning to the railway
cutting and keeps searching for the face ‘in cities and villages’ and in ‘crowds at distant places’.

The poet searches for the face throughout his life but i my case i know , that face is never going to return. Whether the face has taken its face off the earth or has the face gone hidden behind various masks which we wear everyday, i dont know. But i know the face will not return.
The face was fresh as the morning dew.. cute as a few days old pup.
 The eyes, ohh god! as big as blackberries and as bright as a so-so watts bulb...
bright as if seen something dearer to life...
Its teeth were the most beautiful one.. shiny white and small looking like pearls...
 The look remains the same the whole day.
The voice as sweet as honey always talking in a sing-song manner
and the dialect, ohh... nothing can be sweeter than that in the whole world.
The cute, the cuddly, the chubby, always happy, always smiling face cannot be forgotten.

I wish the face came back...
I wish...

Rage!

A few minutes ago, "murderous rage" would have been an understatement. All parts of my body shouting "kolaveri"... what started as a  beautiful moonlit (lunar eclipse-d) evening turned into something i don't appreciate much. but now this evening was the best of all. i mean, in a chilly night
at 11 riding your bike at 60 kmph and you never stopping shivering is indeed something nice.
Back to the main point,Whenever i discuss the topic below, my blood boils and i donot even care about with whom i am talking. This is a very sensitive topic for me.... GOD and the God-Man...
What is religion? According to me, its just different paths to reach a single place. Tha paths may be different, but the goal si same. People forget this very thought sometime.
According to wiki, Religion is a collection of cultural systems, belief systems, and worldviews that establishes symbols that relate humanity to spirituality and, sometimes, to moral values.
What is God?
Some say he exists and some say he doesnt. I say he exists. According to me, God is the creator of everything. I cant define everything because it is beyond my imagination.
According to wiki, God is most often conceived of as the supernatural creator and overseer of the universe.
 The most common among the qualities of God include omniscience (infinite knowledge), omnipotence (unlimited power), omnipresence (present everywhere),
omnibenevolence (perfect goodness), divine simplicity, and eternal and necessary existence.( A few words are very complicated to me)
As people donot see god very easily, we tend to believe a lots of myth, misconceptions, beliefs, the most important - the so-called godman et cetera related to god.
The reason for my murderous rage was a discussion and lateron the involvement of somebody who believes in god-man. Well, i cannot say whether they are true or not but i don't believe a few of them whom i came across. I have read a few works of these kind of god-man. It says , this material world is a place
where we are not required to dwell for ages( ie. many births). Its not good thing to remain here, one should joint the holy abode. And for that we are supposed to live a life of a hermit. Desires are the root cause of our sufferings in this world(This is partly true) but my question is- Why not have a desire, if one is not having a desire then his life is a standstill. If somebody doesn't desire for things then how could he attain the comforts or at least the basic necessities of life.Since we are born here, it is required that we exploit the resources available and make our living simpler.
The same thing Sir Rabindranath Tagore said- When the god has given this beautiful world like this , then why is man running and hiding inside the hut of a hermit? Looks like a few are afraid to face the hard world.
They say- We should live a life of austerity so that our after-life is more beautiful. My view is-
ok , live a life of austerity ....but we shouldn't make our life miserable just because for our after-life. We shouldn't do any wrongdoings or things which are right but are against the austerity rule
 else we will be any lowly creature in our next life. We as humans remember everything but we can't remember our previous lives, so is the case of 84 lakh species.
Does a cockaroach think that ohh , what a life i am leading just because of my previous life! :(  we dont know but for it, its own world is heaven.
 Same is for humans, we regret , we curse our luck but still we feel that destiny has given me what i deserve and hence move on.
We are following a religion which never belongs to us, we go to temple, mosque, church etc just because we see our elders going. We are just copying and that gradual copying makes us believe that i belong to that religion , this religion and we turn passionate towards it and later become a religious fanatic.
We never explore the religion to which we belong. okay we read the scriptures, but the thing is do we follow it? If a man follows the scriptures, then he is just the purest soul. Many good things are written in the scriptures , we don't follow it because it is very hard to follow , so for the easy way round people tend to follow a "GOD-MAN" , a kind of shortcut for achieving whatever we want without the harder part. But the truth is - we don't get anything from them, just misery..
I hear people saying - go there, u will be free from this materialistic cravings, go there they will teach u how to live ur life. What i say is- This is my life, why should i learn to live form somebody else. We have our conscience, which is a kind of an organization of its own. We know whether we are doing right or wrong. We know whether we should do a thing or not. We are aware of what we are doing. Just reading scriptures doesnt make a person responsible and by the way the scriptures speaks the same things which are fundamental and which is taught to any human since birth in simple terms. If we follow the things which
looks simple then there is no requirement of any outside person to teach how to live life. Our conscience is a watchdog, we cannot escape from it. The number of god-men is increasing in various folds. Looks like its the best profession, u don't require a degree, a financial backup , nothing. Just say something
and lo! u r the god itself!


PS- I am not pointing towards a selected audience of god-men. These are my views and this is meant for those who are conning people and not to those who are doing something real good for the public.

Dated- 10th Dec. 2012

My perspective... Strictly mine... part 2

Part 2…. My perspective towards life…
I was mentioning about the donkey, right? Well, sometimes the donkey passes through tough times and good times, obviously it’s not the king of good times. Those are the king of good times who see everything surrounding them with the same mentality; I mean to say they consider both diamond and a worthless equal. Of course, this kind of living requires a lot of rigor but it is possible… coming back to my perspective. Whether we suffer or not, we enjoy every single moment of our life. We cherish it forever. It applies to all the pains which we carry during our schooling and other places, they can never ever be considered pain or sufferings. In our later life, we love cherishing it. We might have faced humiliations, insults in front of many but it all turns out to be very sweet when you are out of that stage. Similarly, I am also facing many many sweet things and I am enjoying that, obviously I get angry over these things but it is enjoyable later on. I remember the lines-

“Maein Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya
Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udata Chala Gaya

Barbadiyon Ka Shok Manana Fizul Tha
Barbadiyon Ka Jashan Manata Chala Gaya
Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udata chala gaya”

One cannot cry for each and everything, but it takes time to change and I am changing. I complain but later it looks so petty that I laugh over it. That doesn’t mean I will take everything like that but yeah this is a good change. Make your little happy moments look like bigger ones and lo! Your life looks very beautiful, much more beautiful than anything else in this world.
So here am I, trying to turn into a new leaf…. Hope the trial works well…. Obviously it will be time consuming but yeah it will work….. I know…

My perspective... Strictly mine... part 1

A story about the the kids of the yesteryars and the youthful youth of today!

Time has changed... Those who were in grade 4 or 5 a few years ago are doing their undergraduate and i feel that time is flying with a
superspeed.I am gonna tell u about the things which i have seen in  the past 2700 days...

I never felt the competition till 12th grade or so because i didnt cared about iits, nits et cetera... they were dreams which were never going to be fulfilled and i never gave a damn about them.... i wanted to enjoy my life a bit( not that iitians or nitians dont enjoy, but that was my perspective) .I always thought that moral lessons and GK classes are just  escape from the Sci , maths and Soc. Sci..English was painful... that was an exceptional... we never used derogatory, inflammatory ( and all the - tory words used these days by the ministers to ban these -tory things)... We moved on. I reached higher secondary level....  we were told that the outside world is ruthless, cut throat, its all rat race... et cetera ... so we have to concentrate more in our  studies and quit those moral lessons, and the most important games classes... :(  the same dialogue was
used in the lower classes to and so moral lessons was virtually closed .... so to face the ruthless world, we had to sacrifice the "moral lessons" ( i was not so sad regarding this even at that time)...
Back to the main point.. the face of the youth changed... all turned towards orkut... ( i still dunno wat does orkut mean) ... we suddenly grew... moved more freely... all turning their heads towards something which is not flesh.... Time indeed changed...

Now we entered college, a new place, a new set of rules to be broken.... but the main thing was we were facing the world.. the same ruthless world....  here it was a rat race at every point... strategies at every point... how to please the lecturers????? :O ... wickedness at a new level...
Most of our own kind can write their own books and all will be a best seller.. iam sure about it...
lengthy classes, lengthy homeworks, lengthy assignments, lengthy records but but but very short time... I am not blaming anyone but just sharing the same plight...
We are running and running forgetting something and that something is very very large... Today irrespective of the grades we receive, we are under stress at some point of time.... Our curriculum says that we should have relaxation classes at least twice a week... sadly like our moral lessons they too were turned into
something worthless... ofcourse in the beginning we had those classes which were headed by some scholars (obviously not in relaxation)... so it was of no use...
In college, we are supposed to learn most of the things on our own, but the thing is we have to sacrifice one out of the two.... ithulle ehavadhu onne thodu... touch one of the fingers-academics or practical learning,of course many stalwards are there who touch both the fingers and succeed but i am not one among them...
I touch only one finger at a time... ofcourse we are forgetting something... that something can be anything from happiness, love, "being human" to many more things...We all are getting nuclear, our dimensions are reducing exponentially.... and this worries me a lot... cos i am seeing this exponential graph and it makes me sick...
have we all forgotten something.... ???
We are learning but we are not learning completely, dats y some "spiritualistic" people say we r like dogs... we dunno anything as compared to what "they" know..(see what modern edu. has brought us into) ;) jokes apart...
Everything has got shortcuts and loopholes and we at this age are using all the possible ones making things easier but unknowingly we are indeed making ourselves look fools because nothing comes easily and what we are getting are for only a short span of time... what we do harder, lasts longer.... we all are conning ourselves, at least i am doing so, dunno about others...cant say... we are seeing what we want to see and that's not called LIFE...
We are not complete... running after something at all point of life... like that donkey running after d carrot... its never gonna get it but it runs... This is the best example to show our plight
... some are not donkeys( they are clever enough not to run in vain) .... some are helpless... some tend to find new ways... so join the club... whic one are u gonna join??

even when  iam writing this, when i am ending this, i dunno why i am doing so because i have more to go... the real thing will come soon...

Ps. Dedicated to all those who see the same thing which i am seeing...

I miss u, D!

A journey to my "heaven" on earth....

It was 4:30 am. I was running downhill. We were already delayed. It was chilly and i was regretting about not wearing a jacket.
We walked swiftly for about 25 minutes before catching a bus at that hour. It was getting colder and colder.. I captured my window seat in the train. The train started moving
and so did my train of thoughts. I had 10 hours, the countdown will start soon. I dunno how time flew , but i was seeing the VIT campus and lo! my destination was about
2 hours or away from me. We reached the suburbs and i started counting those local stations... 20..19..18..17..16...15..14...13...12......3...2...1..0 and here is my
central!!! I was suddenly silent, i was jumping inside as if a blind man is seeing the beauty of the nature for the first time!  ... All my 5 senses got activated for the hard day ahead, as i didnt want to miss
even a single moment in talking or listening  to rubbish. I stepped out of the train, and the moment i put my foot on the ground.. i was speechless..
yes this is my home, my life, my life-giver, my thirst and my desire.I saw the bright city  and the hustle- bustle, people talking in their native language.
I could feel the sweetness in those sounds. It was like "tenn vandhu payudu kaadinile" ... it was sweeter than honey.
Suddenly i felt that i had not eaten anyhting since morning. Food was not my priority, but i had to. :/ I could feel, the city was calling its long lost child.
 I was walking to one of the various places i had to visit. I could see the rotten mango skins, the fish bones and all other rotten things sidelined outside every house.
I was hearing the rickshaw bells, inhaling the rotten smell, it was an aroma at that moment.
I was relishing the place where i spent childhood hols... shouting, biting, running. I could see those days in front of me , like some documentary. We all grew up, changed with time
wearing a mask everyday but the city which we inhabited never changed. It was the same.. people might change but the city never. The 70 or so year old house stands erect ,
witness to all the events which brought about a turning point in everybody's life associated with it. People came and went by but the place stands still, the city stands still... taking care of everybody
who came for survival. The day was coming to an end. I was still in my dreaming state, rewinding all the moments since the days i remember... since  i fell in love...
 the city dwells in me. I am connected to my love eternally. Even if i am living somewhere else, but i cannot forget my love.
Suddenly, i fall and my back aches. Alas! This was all in a dream, a dream which  i see everyday and the dream which i relish. A dream which came true once,
a dream which i wil never forget. I can trade everything for my beloved even my life. Just a moment's happiness with my love and i will be indebted for my whole life.
Even while i am writing this, i am feeling a sudden surge of happiness, making me forget my present.
i have to go back because of my exams, but  i know my love will wait for me to return.
 My love, Chen(nai) ....

So... i have also joined in ! :)

My thoughts just before i started writing a blog.
Phase 1 - Why should i write a blog? :/
Phase 2 - Should i write just because one of my friend is writing?
Phase 3 - Fine then , i am gonna write  a blog willingly.  iam not being forced by somebody.
Phase 4 - okay. Lets give it a try. If it works , then good, else , no problem.
What if  i get no audience? what if nobody likes it? what if i make silly mistakes? what if its a  flop? similar what ifsss...
A night passes without sleep.......... zzzzzzzz
Phase 5 - fine  i am ready with my contents. (jumping) ... will start blogging from the stipulated date.
Another sleepless night......... zzzzzz
Phase 6 - Gonna write right now! its bugging me, i have to do it .. else i  wil fail in my exams. (jumping jumping jumping)

So here i am! Ek nayi kahaani! started A new chapter in my life...  somebody said life is not fair, but life gives us what we deserve , and i am happy about what i have received till date.
Actually i got inspired by my friend. :) I stumbled upon a complaint and i was surprised cos it said- i should be passionate about something, atleast something which as of now is almost nothing... so i am writing now. Somebody said i am a different person when  i write... i mean 2 different personalities-
the one who writes and the one who is  face to face.
 i am passionate about writing (my status , right now), but the thing is i never tried. this is my first attempt ...
i do hope this attempt succeeds like my other "first attempts".
Its gonna be multi-lingual... ta-te-hin-glish( tamil- telugu-hindi-english) cos i am more comfortable with it... :)
 i am thinking of writing my heart out. somebody said - if u write , it reduces your pain and anger( i am nt writing to reduce my pain and anger) .
But i am writing to share my views, my thoughts which were kept hidden or remained unexpressed, i wanna share my slice of life wid u all.   i do hope that u all like my sweet slice of life.