To my Beloved....

This can be nth letter to you on the nth day after we met for the first time, but i am still clueless about what
i am supposed to write...i am thinking now...
i may not be a champion in romanticism, but i can win your heart...

Dilkash thi woh shaam pehle pehal
Jab ke tumse mili thi nazar....
 i still remember the day, u too do... i know very very well... 
 i like you, love you  as my good old friend and more than that... and i also know that how much you like me, do i? :) yes, i do... i say this most of the times.. its boring now... isn't it?
Our relationship is very strange, the world which we live used to intersect before, but it seldom does so now..
Whenever we meet, its like we are leaving our world behind for a while but that "while" remains for a while... our own life beckons us! 
and its a sad thing for a "while"... we have to move on... i saw you, i learnt from you...
 Well you know, its a bliss seeing you..But you know what we might not see each other frequently, but there is something which makes both of us feel for each other and wait for the time to come, even if its imperfect, incomplete, inadequate and what and all "ins".
I always wished to spend time with you as we used to, you used to mention it many times than me, now i feel the same thing... i wish if we could be with each other... for a "while"..
We are passing through a stage where nothing is in our hands.. time is slipping  and we are helpless seeing it slip out.
Time and again, i am afraid of losing you as i lost others... i know i cannot hold everybody in my hands but i am desperate to hold atleast a few.
I want to tell you many many things, but words are not coming out... damn the words. 
Spending time with you is like learning a new lesson everytime... u have taught me many things unknowingly but i don't follow it as i should be. 
I always remember this so-called incident...
They say- If you let your beloved free, not holding his/her hands forcefully, i am sure your beloved will return to you...
i know you never left me as such, but it was like that at times... i mean i felt can i save this relationship? am i losing somebody out of my laziness or my carelessness??? 
i felt you are going, and seeing you like that i cried ... cried and cried... and then suddenly, you would emerge from the darkness of my heart.. and lo! you are back... 
When you said i came in your dreams, i felt what is happening around me??????... i was surprised, speechless and other "!" words... Should i call it destiny, or fate or what which is working "back-end" holding us together against strange odds...
You have changed, changed a lot... obviously on a positive note, you have matured, according to me..; because i am not,i might have changed but i am still careless and still speak things which i shouldn't ...  
You are still my fresh air...
 a breeze in the hot sun.... 
you are as pure as snow white...
you make me forget things...
who knows that's the reason why i love you 
so much... 
This one is for you-


Udti hui titli ki rangeen parchhaai reh jaati hai phoolon mein
Waise hi tum ek tasveer ke jaise chhaye ho inn aankhon mein
... (obviously these are not my lines, but the feelings are)
sach me, tu meri aankhon me hi chaayi hai... but kya karen jo kehna chahti hu, bhool jati hu... :)


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Well friends i am back, after a week of "weak"ness, a week of "lazi"ness, a week of  "hectic"ness.... This one is a mystery letter to my mysterious beloved... I am not gonna say whether the "beloved" is he or she... so keep guessing... Letters are usually secretive, but for a change i am writing it in public and the receiver's name is being kept secret... i do hope... my beloved likes it.