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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Honor restored...




A baby is born. The father dances in merriment saying, “The goddess has finally arrived.” Taking the delicate bundle in his arms, he felt as if beauty itself has taken the form of his child. Her rosy cheeks, her little eyes remind of his loving wife, and hence, he fell in love again!

            The child brought with her the colors of the rainbow. Her shaky walk, the childish talk, her big innocent eyes, her little feet, everything about her was magical. The tinkle of her ankle bells, her gurgling laugh, her every step of learning delighted all. She was, as if, the only reason of existence for them. One found it impossible to take eyes off her. Everybody was awestruck seeing her grow because it felt as if; it was yesterday only the child did come to earth. Years went off like moments for her.

            Time came for her to step into the world, to step out of the protective hands of her family. For her, the world was a dreamland and its inhabitants, angels. She was beautiful, so the world looked the same way. Among them, she met her mate, her soul mate and he, saw in her his dream, his life, his eternal love. Their love blossomed, and their lives became much more beautiful. 

            The girl shared her eternal love with her family. But alas, as soon the name was uttered from her lips, her world tumbled down. Her dreamland looked like, more of a distant dream with all the angels gone. The father’s eyes were fiery, he threatened of taking her life, if the name was again uttered in his presence. The girl was in a daze. She had thousand questions, but thought the better of it, tried to get solace in her brother’s tender arms. Her eyes met her brother’s, his eyes showed nothing which his arms were doing. She pleaded, but no one listened. 

            Days passed. The girl ran off from her hell, but her brother tracked her down. He held her; the girl saw something shining in his hands. It was what she had feared the most. He thrust it inside her, a thousand questions on her lips which found no voice to ask and her heart beat the last time for her eternal mate.

The brother stood up and exclaimed, “Honor has been restored.”

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I saw a 1 year old child, walking down the road, his parents enjoying the moment and then, this thought came to me - "they give life to this child, they give everything to this child. But then, from where did the honor came which tends to take the life itself of one's most beloved."

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

An untold story...



“How this heart bears so much happiness...
How this heart bears so much sadness…”


“Oui!!”
“Hey, how are you, my girl?”
“Fine, come to JP Park at 5. Want to talk.”
“Sure, my girl. But about what?”
“Come, will let you know.”
“Ok. Got some work, catch you later.”

The day has finally come for me, to say what I had always dreamt of in all these years.

***

“Eyes which you saw, every second you saw
Can’t we get it as an unasked boon?”

I was standing at the bus station waiting for the bus, and then I suddenly saw a face. There was a resemblance in that face, but I was unable to recognize it. He went away, only to return back. It seems like he identified me. On looking closer and seeing his boyish smile and serious eyes, I recognized him. We exchanged compliments and our numbers too. Well, the journey started here.
            It was more of a childhood friend’s re-union, but with more vigor. Time flied, from days to months and I felt something, which I never did. I seemed to be free with him, opening up seemed easier, sharing seemed easier. Everything seemed easier with him around. And so, the beautiful season of my life, called love started without my knowing it. Life looked more beautiful than before and so did the inner fantasies.
            The friendship grew and my desire grew as well. Imaginations knew no bound. I was fantasizing everything around us, be it the conversations, our travels and everything which lovers shared.   

***

“Got trapped in desire’s bait,
heart struggles a lot.
It admits all the wounds,
and again it starts thinking.”

            3 years have passed on, eons of moments have flown by, but I couldn’t gather up courage to admit my love to him. The fear that everything may change stopped me. The fear of losing the friendship, the fear of losing those moments of joy, the fear of losing him, stopped me. Imagining happy days seemed to be much easier than expressing my love to the person, whom I loved more than myself, choosing the less risky one. We all imagine some moments which we want it to happen in reality, but inwardly, we fear that we may lose the meaning of life, once it is accomplished and therefore, we realize our dreams in our dreams, even though, the destiny gives us many a opportunities.
            My inner being wanted to be bold enough to say things, but my heart wanted against it. He was the meaning of my life, but what if, I say this to him, and the exciting element just passes by and thus again, my life turns monotonous? What if, he accepts my feelings? Everything may change, but change has become the fear. I have been happy with his thoughts, being with him in my dreams and our association, but tomorrow, if I speak, nothing is certain. Uncertainty is my fear.

***

“Small Heart that beats inside
it will swallow any sea”

Heart has taken over and my dreams are going to come true. Let there be change, forever.
“Hey…”
“So, tell me, why you wanted to see me.”
“Well…”
I am shaking from head to toe. He held my hands.
“You seem to look nervous. What is the matter?”
“I wanted to say… I wanted to say that…”
I gave him, what I wanted to.
“Roses. For me?”
“Yes”
“But, why?”
“Thanks for being there, always.”
The moment is gone, so has my heart lost its battle. Dreams will be dreams forever. Change has lost its battle with constancy. The secret love will remain immortal, without losing its secrecy. Sometimes, remaining silent serves well.

“How this heart bears so much happiness...
How this heart bears so much sadness…”

***

This is my untold story. My first love, whom I still love, but am afraid of expressing it still. 

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A story which drew inspiration from many a people, books, music and of course from the writer. i would like a name a few, from many a people. They are, CJ, AJ, brother and my dear friend DJo.  After a long time, i am back and once again, my friend woke me up from my lazy slumber to write this piece of story.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Saiyaan...

I am waiting for her. She's called me up here by the beachside. The sun's setting slowly, so are my hopes. Everything's been normal these days, but I am able to comprehend the coming danger. I go again to the roller coaster ride of my emotions. I search for her.
"Mera dil khushi se jhoome, gaaye raat"
"pal pal mujhe dubayein, jaate jaate"

There she comes. How can she be so beautiful, good lord? Her eyes. 

***

"Hey, why don't you sing this for us?"
 "Come on, with so many people around, how can i?"
"Who's gonna listen to you, don't be shy."
"OK, then.. listen"

"Heere moti mein na chaahun"
"mein toh chaahun sangam tera"
"mein toh teri, saiyaan... tu hai mera.."
"Saiyaan........"

"Tu jo choole...."
Who is she...
"pyaar se..."

Ohh, look back, lady.. somebody is singing for you

"Aaram se mar jaon"

She turns... She turns...
Her eyes are, so heavenly. They are,... gateway to heaven. Good lord, help me!!

***

But she looks cold, giving a weak smile, letting out her thoughts. I look at her and I see what I feared the most. Her eyes give away and she understands it. Our mirrors show the truth but we refuse to speak. I steal a glance at the sun. 

"Look, I am sorry for everything but i am afraid, we have to stop here." 
"But, is this all?", "What about the other day?"
"We can't continue like this, can we?"
"We can work it out, right?"
"Can we, are you in your right minds or not?"

***

"Do you remember the day, when you sang that song?"
"Yes, how can I forget?"
"That was the moment when I fell for you, head over heels"
"And you are saying this to me, now? I knew it too."
"Nobody in right mind can sing the way you sang and, nobody in right mind can fall for you. I am hell, crazy about you."
"So am I. I Love you!"
"I love you too! My crazy man"

***

"Wait let me speak. What has happened to you? All these days, you were aloof, then all of a sudden, you ask me to meet and you say, I quit? Do I look unfaithful to you?"
  "No, it's nothing like that. You are a very good human. I still like you the way, I liked you before. But, it is not going to work. Leave it. We have already talked over and over again. I don't want to go through it all again"

"Tere naam se jude hai, saare naate."
"Saiyaan, saiyaaan"

"Don't start it again, you’re singing, I am not falling for it. You have lengthened it this long, no more please". "I have to go now, meet you someday."

"Bannke maala prem ki, tere tan pe jhar jhar jaon me"
"Baithu naiyaan preet ki sansaar se har jaon me..."

"YOU KNOW WHAT, THE UNDYING LOVE OF SHAHJEHAN FOR MUMTAZ WAS UNKNOWN TO A PERSON IN THIS WORLD, AND DO YOU KNOW WHO?"
 Listen to me for the last time, you heartless girl!!. 
 "MUMTAZ HERSELF."
She doesn't turn. There she goes, so the light of my life sunk into the salty waters.

"Saiyaan... Saiyaaaan"


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That was the last day when i repeated my most heart touching lines. I never sang it again. Saiyaan, it was for you, and only you.