Rekindled

Three years ago, the day I heard from him, it was a normal day, a day when nothing unusual would happen. It was all monotonous from the start. He left me a message. The message said, “Give me your number” and below, there was his number scribbled. So, what did his highness want from the lesser mortals? Among our many friends, he was the genius. Many might have fallen for him and I was one among many. I was excited.

            After weighing my chances, after hours of practice, I ringed him. I was all nervous and fear ran down my spine. He picked it up and spoke in his deep voice. I tried to sound straight but i was melting under his voice. We spoke and i knew the inevitable. I am in love.

There were times, when i was just a pace away from telling him, but i felt embarrassed. We stayed as friends. For the outside world, it was a mere friendship. He would be my friend in need and i would be his friend indeed. We lived like friends for the outside world. It was me, who lived a different life inside. I would fantasize conversations with him, would expect someday he will realize what I thought of him. I would badger him for silly things. I never knew what he thought. We were distances away, but for me, he was besides me, caring, helping and looking after me.

Days turned into months, months turned into few years. We were on good terms and i was on the edge. I realized love isn't just about being couple; love can be between two humans sharing varied relationships. I looked upon him as my inspiration. He was my listener, he was my mentor, he was my guide and he was my valued friend. The feelings were mutual. I loved him with all my heart but I could never define it. What is he to me, the answer is unknown and wanted it to remain the same forever.

I am living my life again, a corner of my heart beating just for him. I received a message today. His name brought with itself strong tides, pushing me towards my edge. An electric shock passed in me and the fire was rekindled. 

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My passion got rekindled, and here i am back after a long break. Love stories, i like them a lot. It has got a huge range for imagination. Everyday life, thoughts, collected again. Hope that it is good. 

Honor restored...

A baby is born. The father dances in merriment saying, “The goddess has finally arrived.” Taking the delicate bundle in his arms, he felt as if beauty itself has taken the form of his child. Her rosy cheeks, her little eyes remind of his loving wife, and hence, he fell in love again!

            The child brought with her the colors of the rainbow. Her shaky walk, the childish talk, her big innocent eyes, her little feet, everything about her was magical. The tinkle of her ankle bells, her gurgling laugh, her every step of learning delighted all. She was, as if, the only reason of existence for them. One found it impossible to take eyes off her. Everybody was awestruck seeing her grow because it felt as if; it was yesterday only the child did come to earth. Years went off like moments for her.

            Time came for her to step into the world, to step out of the protective hands of her family. For her, the world was a dreamland and its inhabitants, angels. She was beautiful, so the world looked the same way. Among them, she met her mate, her soul mate and he, saw in her his dream, his life, his eternal love. Their love blossomed, and their lives became much more beautiful. 

            The girl shared her eternal love with her family. But alas, as soon the name was uttered from her lips, her world tumbled down. Her dreamland looked like, more of a distant dream with all the angels gone. The father’s eyes were fiery, he threatened of taking her life, if the name was again uttered in his presence. The girl was in a daze. She had thousand questions, but thought the better of it, tried to get solace in her brother’s tender arms. Her eyes met her brother’s, his eyes showed nothing which his arms were doing. She pleaded, but no one listened. 

            Days passed. The girl ran off from her hell, but her brother tracked her down. He held her; the girl saw something shining in his hands. It was what she had feared the most. He thrust it inside her, a thousand questions on her lips which found no voice to ask and her heart beat the last time for her eternal mate.

The brother stood up and exclaimed, “Honor has been restored.”

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I saw a 1 year old child, walking down the road, his parents enjoying the moment and then, this thought came to me - "they give life to this child, they give everything to this child. But then, from where did the honor came which tends to take the life itself of one's most beloved."

An untold story...

“How this heart bears so much happiness...

How this heart bears so much sadness…”

“Oui!!”

“Hey, how are you, my girl?”

“Fine, come to JP Park at 5. Want to talk.”

“Sure, my girl. But about what?”

“Come, will let you know.”

“Ok. Got some work, catch you later.”

The day has finally come for me, to say what I had always dreamt of in all these years.

***

“Eyes which you saw, every second you saw

Can’t we get it as an unasked boon?”

I was standing at the bus station waiting for the bus, and then I suddenly saw a face. There was a resemblance in that face, but I was unable to recognize it. He went away, only to return back. It seems like he identified me. On looking closer and seeing his boyish smile and serious eyes, I recognized him. We exchanged compliments and our numbers too. Well, the journey started here.

            It was more of a childhood friend’s re-union, but with more vigor. Time flied, from days to months and I felt something, which I never did. I seemed to be free with him, opening up seemed easier, sharing seemed easier. Everything seemed easier with him around. And so, the beautiful season of my life, called love started without my knowing it. Life looked more beautiful than before and so did the inner fantasies.

            The friendship grew and my desire grew as well. Imaginations knew no bound. I was fantasizing everything around us, be it the conversations, our travels and everything which lovers shared.   

***

“Got trapped in desire’s bait,
heart struggles a lot.
It admits all the wounds,
and again it starts thinking.”

            3 years have passed on, eons of moments have flown by, but I couldn’t gather up courage to admit my love to him. The fear that everything may change stopped me. The fear of losing the friendship, the fear of losing those moments of joy, the fear of losing him, stopped me. Imagining happy days seemed to be much easier than expressing my love to the person, whom I loved more than myself, choosing the less risky one. We all imagine some moments which we want it to happen in reality, but inwardly, we fear that we may lose the meaning of life, once it is accomplished and therefore, we realize our dreams in our dreams, even though, the destiny gives us many a opportunities.

            My inner being wanted to be bold enough to say things, but my heart wanted against it. He was the meaning of my life, but what if, I say this to him, and the exciting element just passes by and thus again, my life turns monotonous? What if, he accepts my feelings? Everything may change, but change has become the fear. I have been happy with his thoughts, being with him in my dreams and our association, but tomorrow, if I speak, nothing is certain. Uncertainty is my fear.

***

“Small Heart that beats inside
it will swallow any sea”

Heart has taken over and my dreams are going to come true. Let there be change, forever.

“Hey…”

“So, tell me, why you wanted to see me.”

“Well…”

I am shaking from head to toe. He held my hands.

“You seem to look nervous. What is the matter?”

“I wanted to say… I wanted to say that…”

I gave him, what I wanted to.

“Roses. For me?”

“Yes”

“But, why?”

“Thanks for being there, always.”

The moment is gone, so has my heart lost its battle. Dreams will be dreams forever. Change has lost its battle with constancy. The secret love will remain immortal, without losing its secrecy. Sometimes, remaining silent serves well.

“How this heart bears so much happiness...

How this heart bears so much sadness…”

***

This is my untold story. My first love, whom I still love, but am afraid of expressing it still. 

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A story which drew inspiration from many a people, books, music and of course from the writer. i would like a name a few, from many a people. They are, CJ, AJ, brother and my dear friend DJo.  After a long time, i am back and once again, my friend woke me up from my lazy slumber to write this piece of story.