First Love

When she said, “Come on, dear. He’s going to come today. Get ready.” Well, that was enough for the girl to jump high in the air and scream and shout. She kept on telling everybody who came across, “you know, I have seen him once, but I am going to meet him today, personally”. She was in the seventh heaven. She started imagining things about him. “How will he look like?”, “Will he even regard me as his equal?”, or “Am I even fit for him?”, “Will he love me?”, and what not!!

The destined hour came. He was standing at a far corner waiting for her to touch him, to monopolize him, to love him and above all, breathe life into him. She saw him, her body refused to obey, showing signs which were alien for her. They were near now, near enough to touch each other. Her hands moved involuntarily towards him, touching him. The sense of touch was enough for both of them to feel, to feel what their heart ached for, all these days. The magical moment grew longer and longer, their heartbeats synchronizing with the movement and the she felt at ease with him forgetting all her fears, prejudices. 

They came, they met and he left, promising that he will return soon to her. She was still red with excitement. Her mother came in and asked, “What’s the matter, dear? You look very changed.” She couldn’t hide her thoughts and she blurted out. Her mother listened patiently, remained uninterrupted and thought about her child. “How time flies… it is like, as if, it was yesterday only, she said her first word, it was yesterday only, she had her maiden walk, it was yesterday only, when she came in crying for her toy whose head got severed and today, she’s a big girl”, she thought. She was just a child for her, but her little girl found her true love, rather her “First love”. 

The bird is ready to fly from the cage, breaking all her protective sheath for her “first love”.

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Well, i am back again after more than a month. "First love" is close to my heart. I just can't say how it is like, when i felt it. Magical, like the wolf imprinting in Twilight series. It was almost the same and remembering it, the same feelings comes in and that's what i have tried to "write" here. "First Love's always the First"....

Unspoken words

Some words are meant to be spoken, some are meant to be written off. Words and the meaning they possess are the biggest of all the mysteries in the world. Silence has a greater meaning, but still we yearn only for words. Words have to be said on time, before or after, they cause a great havoc.

I rarely speak seriously, because I like to write serious rather than speak serious because in most cases I end up either laughing or reaching nowhere. This is for you!! I won’t be starting from the start, but will start from the middle. I have got a few questions for you. Tell me, has my eyes changed? Or have you changed or molded yourself? Or is it a play of my mind? Or is it nothing and I am the one who’s exaggerating? Can you answer me? Can you? I don’t think so, because I myself have no idea how this cropped in me. It feels as if silence is the best thing which we can share right now. Have we got something in common at this phase of our life? Indeed we have but can we discuss it? No. Those words of yours really hit me real hard, “what are we going to do even if we are together?” it was an out of the box answer for my request. It seems I have lost my charm or call it my “attractiveness” or call it “we have really grown up now” thing and stop your idiotic behavior. 

Is it the wheel of life which is running by, uncontrollably or is it me who is deliberately running it faster? It doesn’t seem like going faster; it is going at -2x speed but it has somewhat affected me and the ones around me. Is everything over? No. not yet and not so early. I am not afraid of it either (like you used to say earlier and me “:O”ing it). Seeing you after so many days, each day spent in “shouldn’t we meet today?”, “ohh buoy!!, here goes the chance!” and what not. The guilt mounting in; day by day in me and the fear of losing you made my “miss you” days more miserable. We don’t belong to the usual species, do we? The 3 word doesn’t fit in, in our conversations. The “miss you” and the “love you” sets rarely occur in our dictionary of words. You never used it (I don’t remember you using it, If you did, then I am sorry for my memory lapse) and even if I used it (in our earlier days), It showed no magic either (I am not complaining .. :P) 

Words, words and words. I am getting short of words for you. As the time moves on, I see you at places, and I feel your presence. Your eyes are always magical, but it hurts when it doesn’t meet mine.

I am longing alone, I need company of none.

I am walking like a dead, don’t bring back my soul.

Places you touched are burning, please go away.

I am living because of you, for you my love.

Give me your love, I will live forever.

You made fate to play with my soul, please go away.

Is there no way to live the life that I lived till now with you?

Can’t we find our way in the light, which we found in the dark?

My dream is dead, you live. please go away.

Is it the anguish in me which is making me speak these words? Yet again the unspoken words....

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I will never ever tell you to go away because, again i say this.. i can't stop loving you.

Miss you.

I miss you …

When I ride my bike and see an empty backseat. 

I miss you…

When I look at my camera and search for your face in the crowd.

I miss you…

When I sit in the classroom and the seat beside me looks empty.

I miss you…

When my pen stands fearlessly in my hands and there’s nobody to give it a jerk.

I miss you…

When I find your name marked as absent in the attendance sheet.

I miss you…

When I open my notes and see your beautiful scribbles on it.

I miss you…

When I return to home unharmed (from your attacks).

I miss you…

When I live my moments where everything is there except you.

I miss you…

When I look back and find nothing coming back to the present.

I missed you from the moment we parted away….

I missed you from the moment when we saw each other last…

 

I missed you from the moment when my eyes lost its way in the crowd…

I missed you from the moment when my shadow left me in search for you…

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So today is friendship day. The d-day is here, the day when we prove our depth of friendship to our dearest friends. I don’t know, how to start, what to write. The relationship is so special that one cannot describe it in words. Friends, they are an integral part of one’s life. I too have friends. I would love to speak about each of them, but neither the web pages, nor these documents would be enough to express what I feel. On our road to destiny, we meet people; many many people. Some help us reach our destiny, some don’t. some accompany us, some may leave us behind. I may have left many of them in my tedious journey, but I remember each one of them. Memories sometimes fail us, but the world around us doesn’t allow us to forget those who are a part of our soul. We all are one, divided at times to follow our desire. We meet, we separate, we live, we die, we love, we hate but still we all are one.

As the day is about to end.Here’s what I wanted to say to all my dearest friends.

Happy friendship day to all the readers!!