Unspoken words

Some words are meant to be spoken, some are meant to be written off. Words and the meaning they possess are the biggest of all the mysteries in the world. Silence has a greater meaning, but still we yearn only for words. Words have to be said on time, before or after, they cause a great havoc.

I rarely speak seriously, because I like to write serious rather than speak serious because in most cases I end up either laughing or reaching nowhere. This is for you!! I won’t be starting from the start, but will start from the middle. I have got a few questions for you. Tell me, has my eyes changed? Or have you changed or molded yourself? Or is it a play of my mind? Or is it nothing and I am the one who’s exaggerating? Can you answer me? Can you? I don’t think so, because I myself have no idea how this cropped in me. It feels as if silence is the best thing which we can share right now. Have we got something in common at this phase of our life? Indeed we have but can we discuss it? No. Those words of yours really hit me real hard, “what are we going to do even if we are together?” it was an out of the box answer for my request. It seems I have lost my charm or call it my “attractiveness” or call it “we have really grown up now” thing and stop your idiotic behavior. 

Is it the wheel of life which is running by, uncontrollably or is it me who is deliberately running it faster? It doesn’t seem like going faster; it is going at -2x speed but it has somewhat affected me and the ones around me. Is everything over? No. not yet and not so early. I am not afraid of it either (like you used to say earlier and me “:O”ing it). Seeing you after so many days, each day spent in “shouldn’t we meet today?”, “ohh buoy!!, here goes the chance!” and what not. The guilt mounting in; day by day in me and the fear of losing you made my “miss you” days more miserable. We don’t belong to the usual species, do we? The 3 word doesn’t fit in, in our conversations. The “miss you” and the “love you” sets rarely occur in our dictionary of words. You never used it (I don’t remember you using it, If you did, then I am sorry for my memory lapse) and even if I used it (in our earlier days), It showed no magic either (I am not complaining .. :P) 

Words, words and words. I am getting short of words for you. As the time moves on, I see you at places, and I feel your presence. Your eyes are always magical, but it hurts when it doesn’t meet mine.

I am longing alone, I need company of none.

I am walking like a dead, don’t bring back my soul.

Places you touched are burning, please go away.

I am living because of you, for you my love.

Give me your love, I will live forever.

You made fate to play with my soul, please go away.

Is there no way to live the life that I lived till now with you?

Can’t we find our way in the light, which we found in the dark?

My dream is dead, you live. please go away.

Is it the anguish in me which is making me speak these words? Yet again the unspoken words....

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I will never ever tell you to go away because, again i say this.. i can't stop loving you.

Forgetfulness

Life Death

Love Hatred

Success Failure

Hope Rejection

Happiness Sadness

Knowledge

Fun Dejection

Time Laughter

You Me

Well, you all might be thinking why I am writing these words. I am writing them, because I forgot what they meant to me in these 3 months. I unlearnt everything related to them in these 3 months. Whatever I presumed about them, all went wrong today. Whatever I showed to the world regarding these words, they were either totally wrong and  I became a good actor or I was right in all those days, and I am getting it wrong now.

I forgot what is love ,

for me it turned out to be a 4 letter word to be repeated time and again to prove my love for my “loved” ones.

I forgot what is hatred ,

For me it was another 4 letter word to be used for nobody.

I forgot what is happiness ,

For me it was just a passing by emotion aroused only upon the success of my undertaken assignments.

I forgot what is laughter ,

For me it was another long passing by emotion aroused by force.

I forgot what is sadness ,

For me it was the most frequently visited site of emotion field.

I forgot what is rejection,

For me It was just a way of showing “you are not fit”

I forgot what is hope ,

For me, it was yet another emotion which was rarely visited because nobody was eager to show it to me.

I forgot what is success ,

For me, it was somebody else’s failure,

For me it was my triumph over somebody.

I forgot what  is failure ,

For me, it was the best friend I could get.

For me, it was the underachievement of my petty goals of life.

I forgot what  is time ,

For me it was the sun rising and the sun setting.

I forgot what is fun ,

Once again, it was nothing but artificial

I forgot what is dejection, 

For me, it was just a way of showing others that “my life isn’t perfect as yours”

I forgot what is knowledge ,

For me, it was a way of scoring scores, and in turn making money.

I forgot who you are,

For me, you were yet another human

I forgot who I am,

For me, I was just a machine.

I forgot what is life ,

Because I stopped living it.

I forgot what is death ,

Because I was the living dead.

I forgot everything, but today somebody made me remember all.